Thursday, December 6

A conversation with if she were a bartender

Mixx the bartender: Hi

Me: Hello there!

Mixx the bartender: I haven't seen you here before.

Me: My first time here, I get a little intimidated in places like this. There's so much selection you know?

Mixx the bartender: I could recommend something. I Mixx a mean drink.

Me: Call me pretentious but, are you flirting with me?

Mixx the bartender:
A little bit.

Me: Well I'm flattered but I should let you know I don't go for your type.

Mixx the bartender: My type?

Me: The social media type. Oh don't take it personal please, you're very nice that's not what I mean.

Mixx the bartender:
Oh I see, got burned huh?

Me: Hmmm, not exactly but yeah. I've always enjoyed flirting with your type I've even had some quick flings but I've never gotten "involved" much. Don't take this the wrong way but you're kind of a... a high maintenance sort aren't you? All the clicking and faving and editing and customizing and commenting. You're just too demanding. I can't ever keep up!

Mixx the bartender:
Oh but I'm different from the others.

Me: Yeah that's what they all say. But gradually the truth comes out. If I'm not popular enough you start ignore me and leave me for someone with more votes or more 'friends', usually someone from the 'nouveau cool' social media marketing crowd.

Mixx the bartender: Oh c'mon I can't be all that bad.

Me: Well, you're very friendly and outgoing and I do find you rather attractive - you've got nice tabs! I'll also admit that this drink you've mixxed for me tastes great so far! Not the usual top ten lists and self absorbed articles I've encountered in the past. You're also very accessible and easy to talk to.

Mixx the bartender: So, if asked you to go home with me you would say...

Me: Ha! Well, you're not shy aren't you.

Mixx the bartender: I like you!

Me: ...

Mixx the bartender:
Let's just go for coffee then?

Me: Your treat?

Mixx the bartender: My treat!

Oh what can I say, I'm a sucker!


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